Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Personal Department

The CURSE of the CARNEY TOE! (to be said loudly like a pirate talking about a cursed treasure)

(I am madly in love with the title of this blog entry. It is reminiscent of a Nancy Drew Story-- which I never read, mind you-- but I did read books about The Hardy Boys and they had chapters with weird names too. I am going with Nancy Drew because the title has a subtle effeminate quality)

Today it was approximately 100 degrees with approximately 100 percent humidity. If you have never felt weather like that, rejoice. It literally and figuratively feels like hell. As I walked Puggie today, dogs and small children burst into flames all-around me-- even before I could shoot them with my flamethrower.

Another side effect of the heat is that everyone is wearing shorts and flip-flops, including my girlfriend. However, despite seeing my girlfriend in flip-flops almost every day for as long as I can remember, I never noticed the fact that she suffers from THE CURSE OF THE CARNEY TOE (loud! like a pirate!) .

What do I mean by this? Well, her toe is bizarrely small, like it belongs on the foot of a Carney. Am I being cruel? No, just honest. But the cruelest irony of all is that one of my girlfriend's closest friends has THE CURSE OF THE CARNEY HANDS (also like a pirate!), and my girlfriend loves to talk about her friend's problem. For my girlfriend, it is a verbal trump card.

Sample Conversation:
Friend of Girlfriend: "Hey Heather!"
Girlfriend: "Hey Carney Hands!"

This was all well and good for my girlfriend until today-- the day I discovered her Achilles toe.

See for yourself!



(If you are blind, the Carney Toe is the middle-one)

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