Fake News Department

Cheney Inherits Presidency for an hour: Declares War on Iran, France

In a scheduled transfer of power on Friday, Vice-President Dick Cheney assumed the President's powers while George W. Bush was sedated for a prostate procedure. In an unlikely turn of events, President-for-the-hour Cheney used the opportunity to launch simultaneous "preemptive" missile strikes on Tehran and Paris.

Operation Irani Freedom and Operation Frog-killa came as a complete surprise to Washington insiders. Even White House Press Secretary Tony Snow seemed flustered facing reporters at a noon press conference. When questioned about the President's logic, Tony Snow offered with uncharacteristic frankness, "We don't have reasons for every little thing we do, okay?!"